Below Deck: Mediterranean Recap: Sob Stories


The opening of this week’s episode, after Kiko’s grease-soaked Vegas dinner from last week, tells you everything you need to know. Kiko offers to leave at the end of the charter, and Sandy just nods with a terse “mmhmm.” At the end of the day, he could do a six-course meal for 12, he could do a full tapas menu, but he couldn’t do vegan and he couldn’t do Vegas–themed finger food, and that’s what proved our rustic lover chef wasn’t cut out for the Wellington.

If you thought I’d be sad about Kiko’s leaving — which I am, but more so mad and we’ll get to that in a second — you should see Kiko. After telling Hannah what happened, he goes to his bunk for the night and just bawls. And it breaks me because, as if it hasn’t been clear the whole time, this man cares about his food! Hannah cries too, and so does Jess; meanwhile, the rest of the crew gets ready to entertain for the Vegas party, where Alex becomes a Chippendales dancer with Sharpied-on abs and Malia does a handstand. It’s cut between shots of Hannah quietly cleaning up and Kiko sobbing, and it feels a bit bizarre. I watch this show for entertainment and escape, but right now, I just feel like shit. I’ve said it before, but I mean it now more than ever: poor Kiko.


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